the CORRECT way to carpet a room

Gaining more knowledge not being at college. The first two months of my summer vacation consisted of getting my dad's new office building ready to move into. Besides thinking I was going to get murdered every five minutes because I was in there by myself, and some awkward encounters with the UPS man, I ended up learning how to be pretty handy. And I learned the CORRECT way to carpet a room (I also learned many correct ways how NOT to carpet a room)

1. get a room (ha!)

2. survey the room.

3. start putting down carpet.

4. you need to get to know the carpet you're working with. the better friends you are with the carpet, the better it will end up looking

5. talk to the carpet, they like it.

6. make sure mr. carpet square is snug when you put him down next to his friends. 

7. you need to make sure you look very pretty when you carpet a room, the carpets notice,

8. taking a nap on the carpet is very important, to test if it's going to work in the space you're carpeting.

and that is the CORRECT way to carpet a room.