"i've always thought there's a difference between a man breaking your heart and life breaking your heart, and the latter always seems to find a way to break you in ways you didn't even think you could break"
maybe it's dramatic, but maybe it's not. but there's nothing like a broken dream. i always remember what megfee once wrote on her blog. "i'm damaged bad at best" but then there's also something else that she noted, "this life, already wasted and still strewn with miracles."
i'm telling you this girl is my kindred spirit. she is a phenomenal writer. "forgive the anger you feel. feel it and then look again with kinder eyes. forgive yourself for not handling it all better, for feeling like you let others down. the path is not done, the road is not finished, why are you trying so hard to rush the whole thing?"
every time someone would ask me, i would tell them, "i don't know (always making myself expect the worst, but hoping so much for the best), but whatever's supposed to happen will happen the way Heavenly Father wants it to happen." and i know that. but it doesn't make it hurt any less when it happens. because you know what? it hurts. a broken heart from a broken dream hurts way more than anything else i've experienced.
but i did all i could. there was nothing wrong with me or my application or my hopes. i did all i could. and right now i feel i got nothing out of it. DENIED is such a brutal, cutting six-letter word. salt in the wound. but i did everything right, so that's got to count for something.
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