TAKING STOCK//05

Making : beading! i haven't make anything with beads in a long time, but wedding season comes, and my friends ask me to make things, so of course i do! i'm happy for any excuse to bead again
Cooking : rice and lentils, trying to replicate my favorites from france
Reading: All the Light We Cannot See- granted i have been reading this book for a couple months, it is really good, i just haven't had the time to get into it #school
Wanting: this necklace and this swimmer
Looking: for a grey dress (gray dress? no matter how many times i try and figure out the correct way to use grey/gray, i'm still so confused)
Wishing: it would snow (did i just say that?!?). it's 70 degrees in february, and while it feels great, i feel like it should feel like winter for maybe a day? like i have scarves and hats i want to wear please and thank you
Enjoying: my fish gus! (pronounced like goose). he's a betta fish and very good company.
Liking: i'm sure everyone has already heard this taylor swift cover but can we just say uhb-sessed
Wondering: well yesterday i was wondering why "xyz" means "zip your zipper," but then i learned it means "examine your zipper," so...
Loving: okay i'm going to talk about bras because i have to wear one every day, but now i don't mind because i got this bra called the coobie bra off amazon, and it's pretty much the best thing since sliced bread. seriously though. 
Needing: a personal chef. please? anyone?
Taking: lots of pictures! living with lexi = photoshoots all of the days!
Smelling: my laundry detergent. gain lavender is the best smelling stuff in the world and it lasts foreverrr on my clothes and i'm in love with it. 
Wearing: a uniform- the idea that you pretty much wear the same thing every day. so black sweater, black jeans, and button up shirt please.
Following: @livingitrural on instagram, and he takes the best pictures of the cutest cows
Knowing: i need more sleep. always, always, always
Watching: downton abbey and law and order:svu 
Bookmarking: copycat swig sugar cookie recipes. going to try this recipe for valentine's day
Opening: opening any kind of package is my worst talent. i cannot do it to save my life. life is so hard.
Giggling: at the fact that my roommates went out and got us a cat last sunday, even if we didn't get to keep her :( 

to read previous taking stock//01/02/03/04

TWENTY TWO

i sometimes get the feeling that birthdays may be a better time to make goals than new years. they are a time of reflection as i get older. my twenty-first year was one strewn with confusion and heartache, but it was also the best opportunity i’ve had for personal growth. this year was about me. it wasn't me and him or me and them, just me. i became unashamed of my lot in love or my decisions that i made because they made me happy and they made me, me.

so to continue the tradition from last year, here are twenty-two things from a twenty-two year old.

1//there's something so liberating about telling people what you really feel, and clinging to good memories and forgetting the bad ones. remember that one night? that was a good night, and those feelings i felt? there's no discounting them, and i learned. i felt things i had never felt before, and i will never be sorry for the love, the pain, the heartache, the tears.

2//i was sitting with one of my dear friends in the luxembourg gardens, and we were talking about some of our favorite memories. we were laughing and crying, and talking about how those memories that we were talking about were some of the dearest we have. that's what we hold on to, and she asked me if that moment we were having right there could be one of those memories. that is home. i want every day to be home.

3//crave relationships. not necessarily just the romantic kind, but the kind with people. all kinds of people. some of my greatest friends have been made when i have been willing to let my pride go and open up my heart. now my heart aches with joy whenever i get to see them, and that kind of love is priceless

4//natural, natural, natural. oh baby you are most beautiful natural

5//it is not stupid if it is important to you

6//knowledge is beautiful, but i cannot forget all kinds of knowledge. how to bake a cake. how to solve math equations. how to create something from a needle and thread. knowing and caring about those things is so essential.

7//many people will disappoint you simply due to the fact that you know they know better, however when i decided to remember that i also just need to love them, i realized that love is the answer to everything.

8//"now that you don't have to be perfect you can be good"

9//people who are unhappy will hate, but, as hard as it is, do not pay attention. they will leave you empty.

10//nothing i have is of my own doing. everything i think i do myself i owe largely to my family, friends, and ultimately Him who gave me everything.

11//introspective sensitivity, "it is the notion that some people feel emotions in a more physical way than others"

12//i am extraordinarily content with walking everywhere with my nose in a book. at first i was worried i was going to miss the world, but when i am reading i live every life.

13//journaling is one of the best things in the world.

14//part of letting something change you is living it afterwards

15//my story is about who God is, and what he can do with my stubborn, imperfect heart.

16//i have vivid memories of standing in front of my mirror, terrified of what was to come, and telling myself out-loud that i am a queen, and queens can do anything. every day it is a choice.

17//hats are an investment in the future. a good hat makes for a good life.

18//service is vital for happiness. the days i have been most happy have been full of gifts for other people.

19//i believe that there’s no point in having wealth unless you can share it with other people. and i’m not talking about monetary wealth; knowledge, talents, skills.

20//hardly anything works out exactly how you planned, but you are tough, really, really tough.

21//there are some things you cannot explain; a moment, feelings, the love. don’t try. holding on to them in your heart sometimes makes those moments mean even more.

i try and think of lessons i can share with you so i can mainly prove to myself that things are happening, time moves on and now, finally, so do i. with one thing left, i was trying to think of what i think is most important, one thing to remember if you don't remember anything else, and i can't help but repeat what i said on my birthday last year.

22// there will be many times when you think it's the end of the world as you know it; days when you feel like you have the weight of the whole world inside of you, but it's not and you don't. it's just an opportunity to start your world over again, to learn something, and to remember our Christ who is always there, and has been through everything you are going through. there have many times where the world has begun again for me, some times as many as seven times a week.

TAKING STOCK//04

happy thanksgiving, friendsgiving, francegiving, whatever you want to call it. thanksgiving here in paris is definitely different than regular thanksgiving. we had our traditional thanksgiving meal on monday night, so today will be just spent with friends and probably indian food. while i could spend all day and night and day to write down everything i'm thankful for, it just wouldn't be possible to include everything, but i do want to mention my family, my friends (especially my little friend group here who have become so much my family), and my Paris. here is my thanksgiving taking stock (i cut out a lot of the things i usually do because i didn't see any use for them). i hope everyone has a wonderful thanksgiving. eat a ton of turkey and pumpkin everything for me. 

Making : knitting? 
Cooking : monday night we made a pumpkin surprise, adojskajdfosjd SO GOOD
Reading: the opposite of loneliness. it's a book and an essay. you can read the essay here 
Wanting: today i wish i could apparate home for a few hours for turkey day, but i don't really want anything else

Enjoying: paris. all of my friends. everything that my life is right now

Waiting: not really waiting, but excitedly anticipating seeing my family and all of my girlies who have come home from their missions while i have been in paris!

Liking: christmas music, ALL THE TIME

Loving: paris. all of my friends. everything that my life is right now. 

Marvelling: that it's thanksgiving. what happens to our time? have i been in paris for three months already?

Wearing: the same clothes over and over and over and over. i definitely can't wait to see all my other clothes because i love them. 

Knowing: how blessed and truly happy i am right now

Thinking: about the importance of knowledge and how it is, but all kinds of knowledge. i used to feel stupid for wanting and being interested in "unconventional" things like sewing and knitting and art, but being here in paris with all of these things around me and appreciated, i've been reminded of how all knowledge is beautiful

Feeling: like my heart is going to explode SO MUCH LOVE

Giggling: all day, everyday. i have never laughed so much in my life. 

to read previous taking stock//01/02/03

life lately/ photo haul

in three days i am going to france (!!!) this past week i have been home in tennessee getting ready for the grand adventure, but before i left provo i was so blessed to see some of my best friends. the last two weeks were jam-packed with hanging visits, swiss days, and weekends in the mountains. also included: trampoline jumping in a dress, cross country races, soccer games, and family time.

a random thing or two-sday

hello i'm here! i feel like i am saying that way to often these days, but here i am. today is a special occasion. (also, does anyone else have a problem where they write toady instead of today way too often?) in exactly one month from today i will be hitting the road and flying across the pond to another country. pretty excited about that. also it's a little scary.

and my list of things to do is getting quite shorter, so that's really good too. so just checking in on a couple of things.

1. i'm wondering really how many days i can go without washing my hair. the "rolled out of bed" look is all the rage these days, and i really like just rolling out of bed. i'm telling you it's all the rage these days

2. i never thought i would say this, but how bad is it to wear socks with sandals? i'm seriously considering it. i mean, you do it in a very fashionable way, of course. i'm totally digging this and this, so excuse me while i wear my socks and sandals. but i'm pretty sure they only really work with clogs and birks.

3. i got my haircut last weekend and the lady cut it about three inches shorter than i asked her to. like i asked for emma stone and got taylor swift when she cut all her hair off. now, i love taylor swift so much, and do not mind being as fabulous as her, however that hair cutting lady chopped off way too much and broke my little medium-short hair loving heart.

4. speaking of taylor swift, next monday she's doing a live stream to announce her new cd and i'm just way excited about that because i will always love her and believe we are soul sisters because cats. haters gonna hate.

5. speaking of taylor swift, i really have been loving stars lately. like the ones up in the sky ones. and moons. like look at this and these. also "You-you alone will have the stars as no one else has them... In one of the stars I shall be living. In one of them I shall be laughing. And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing, when you look at the sky at night...You-only you- will have stars that can laugh." -Antoine de Saint-Exupery

6. speaking of taylor swift, it's freezing in my work because i don't know why. pretty much we have blankets and we keep here and space heaters and i'm going to wear a sweater tomorrow, but it's been like this for all the days i can remember

7. speaking of taylor swift. ok i'll stop now. but next weekend my lara friend comes home from her mission, which i am very excited about. like this monday will be the last letter i write her on her mission. and then next saturday morning we are going to the ogden temple open house and then sunday is her homecoming and because her family moved to alpine, i get to go, which i never dreamed would be possible in a million years.

8. i get to go home in 3 weeks (!!!!!!!!!!!!)

9. my caitie cousin is coming home from washington in two weeks and we are going up to my grandparents house for the weekend on my last day of work. which is my favorite thing!

10. ever since the sad news that actor robin williams passed away yesterday, i have been thinking about the movie dead poet's society because it's one of my all-time favorites. i stand upon my desk to remind myself that we must constantly look at things in a different way.//
 we don't read and write poetry because it's cute. we read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. and the human race is filled with passion. and medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. but poetry, beauty, romance, these are what we stay alive for. oh captain, my captain, no matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas can change the world.

now here's a pretty picture.

taking stock//03

^^^this is an announcement to the world that this bad, blurry phone pic is a documentation of me completely, blissfully happy thanks to christmas music in july, a clean bedroom, sunday afternoons, and my pumpkin pecan waffle candle, which i was probably high off of because it had been burning for a couple of hours at this point

Making : a woven tapestry to hang on my wall. yep, wooooven tapestry 
Cooking : has actually become a relaxing hobby of mine. i have an urge to cook a lot more lately, and it usually comes around ten o'clock at night. it's weird. just call me miss domestic. 
Reading: Never Have I Ever My Life (So Far) Without a Date- while i have been on a date, lots of dates, too many dates even, (that's a whole other subject) this book is hilarious and very relate-able  
Wanting: rain. the weather has been tricking us with almost rain, but we desperately need the rain. plus, i love how you can see the difference between the dry desert sky and the sky after it's just rained. it really washes everything away
Sewing: and wondering how i can make the same dress three times and it turns out different every time
Wishing: ...paris....
Enjoying: all of the friends i've accumulated from work (i don't really like the word accumulated here because it makes them sound like things, but they're people. there's just not a better word i can think of right now, so i clarify.)
Waiting: to fall asleep. i've been much more of a nightowl lately, but i guess i've always been a nightowl, so i'm just returning to old habits
Liking: tomatoes, zucchini, mushrooms, and avocados. like a lot. way more than usual 
Wondering: why i've been having such weird dreams lately. like last night in my dream i was about to have a baby? can someone please tell me what's going on. i mean i  love babies, and i want babies eventually, but no dreams where i'm about to birth a baby please!
Loving: photoshopping cats into every picture that i have to send out in emails, etc. and the worse of a photoshopped job it is, the better
Hoping: always. always hoping. isn't it wonderful that we can always have hope?
Marvelling: at how it's august already. but really. i mean, i'm happy about it, but how did it become august so fast?
Needing: more pillows on my bed i think. i have eight, but to have ten or eighteen would be nice.
Smelling: earlier today i was smelling our stinky kitchen so i cleaned it....
Wearing: this one white knit shirt i have, like every day. i change into it when i come home from work. at least i haven't slept in it yet.
Noticing: the sweet nostalgia of looking at old pictures. i'm glad that i've come to a point where when i feel it, i miss it, but it's not a kind of missing that makes me rather be there in the past than here in the present. it's a sweet feeling remember the happy times and letting them stay as memories
Knowing: i'm really going to regret staying up really late tomorrow at church 
Thinking: about how hard it is to cut your own hair. i bet i could do it. i just am never happy with the job that anyone else does, so if i do it myself, i've got no one else to blame, right?
Feeling: the christmas spirit! it comes earlier and earlier every year!
Bookmarking: the best places to visit in paris
Giggling: with joy and happiness because my best friend lara comes home from her mission in seventeen days and i miss her so much and i can't wait to see her! it's been almost two whole years since i've seen her face

to read previous taking stock//01/02

taking stock//02

making: dresses. lots and lots of dresses 

cooking: brownies (what i wish i was cooking)
drinking: dirty dirty dr. pepper
reading: five different books at one time
wanting: to maybe get a little bit tan this time round? please? maybe more freckles that make it look like i got a little tan?
looking: at the bottom of my dirty feet in the mirror. i love my dirty feet because they show summer and hard work and that i am living instead of standing still.  
playing: this
sewing: i repeat, dresses. lots and lots of dresses.
wishing: that it can just be september already. paris is all i can think about. paris paris paris paris paris 
enjoying: right now. and trying to be just like the boy in the book, the alchemist,"'when i'm eating, that's all i think about. if i'm on the march, i just concentrate on marching. if i have a fight, it will be just as good a day to die as any other. because i don't live in either my past or my future. i'm interested only in the present. if you can concentrate always on the present, you'll be a happy man. you'll see that there is life in the desert, that there are stars in the heavens, and that tribesmen fight because they are part of the human race. life will be a party for you, a grand festival, because life is the moment we're living right now." 
liking: donuts (actually: loving. i love donuts.)
wondering: who invented donuts because i love them. 
loving: i would say donuts right here, but i'm going to stop being repetitive and say...marshmallows. i love marshmallows. 
marveling: at how almost every single mormon message makes me cry. what am i? a big baby? i guess that's what i get for making fun of my mother for crying all the time, i just sit in my bed and watch these and cry. 
needing: to shave my legs. i can't get away with shaving them once a month during the summer, and that's a bummer.
smelling: air? i mean. i don't know what the air smells like. it just doesn't smell i think....
following: the yellow brick road. just kidding i hate that movie.
noticing: the treasures that are hidden among the presumed clutter of this house that i live in. there are rembrandts in here. rembrandt!
knowing: i can make it the next three months before france
thinking: i have way too many baby hairs and they're just out of control
bookmarking: cute pictures of cats and cute pictures of babies. i like what i like, and there's nothing we can do about it. 
opening: every wedding announcement we get in the mail. there's seriously three weddings every week around here 
feeling: ...is there an emotion for donuts?

phone notes

i keep notes on my phone whenever i hear something or read something or think of something that i want to remember. i have a list of baby names and things i've learned. i was going through them today, and thought to share.

//i do not have the emotions to explain how much i will love them
//Eleanor, Beckett, Theodore, Poesy, Scarlett, Nora
//i wonder how many people on the street i've fallen in love with because they look like you
//"women wish to be loved without a why or a wherefore; not because they are pretty, or good, or well-bred, or graceful, or intelligent, but because they are themselves"
//"he was right in saying that the only certain happiness in life is to live for others" leo tolstoy
//here's to looking into the sun when you used to close your eyes
//you can never truly be beautiful to anyone else until you believe it yourself
//"wait for your husband- guard everything until then. because they will all leave you empty."
//"love, after all, always said more about those who felt it more than it did about the ones they loved"
//"remember kid, there's heroes and there's legends. heroes get remembered but legends never die. follow your heart kid and you'll never go wrong" the sandlot
//he told me if the world was perfect, he wanted my eyes because they are so blue, and they would go with his shirt.
//as a leader you come with questions
//"i am not a person to believe in 'soulmates' but these two souls are beautifully intertwined in a deep and sweet love."
//obedience is the basis of all obedience
//"give me my romeo, and when he shall die, take him and cut him out in a million little stars, and he will make the face of heaven so fine that all the world will be in love with the night"
//she never looked nice. she looked like art, and art wasn't supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something
//buy a notebook. write down what you want. write down what hurts you. show it to someone you love. save it for your children. burn it in your backyard. either way, go to bed knowing that in some way, those things are out of you.
//write. a notebook or an iphone memo, any place, really, to store your dreams.
//you can have eternal life if we want it. only if there is nothing else we want more.
//fear is unworthy of a Child of God. acting in faith is not a matter of age or experience but a matter of the heart. there's no point in walking on your knees when you can walk on your feet.

twenty-one lessons from the twenty-one year old

1///make goals if you want to get anything done, but more importantly, write them down.

2///when you find something that speaks to your soul, no matter what it is, cherish it; learn from it; share it; soak it in. you will be so much happier for doing this.

3///manners cost nothing. let me say that again. manners cost nothing.

4///apologize for things that you have done wrong, no matter how hard it is or how embarrassing it is (and let me tell you, it is so hard, but so worth it)

5///nothing is more liberating than moving on, but nothing is more difficult.

6///it's okay if you cry. it shows that you feel.

7///sometimes you are going to feel like you are slothing through life. at these times, i find it important to remember what i have always loved doing. you're going to realize that you aren't doing those things anymore. get back to them.

8///read to visit places you have never been to before when you can't physically go there yourself.

9///God is good. you will go so much farther than you thought you could. (i just realized that's in the Nashville Tribute to the Pioneers ha)

10///get the leather pants. i believe that you should own at least one item of clothing, that when your children look at pictures of you twenty years from now, they will start laughing, and hopefully snorting, hysterically because you wore that. i can't wait to hear their laughter.

11///never underestimate your capacity to love many things and people. when you think there's no more room, or that your heart has too many holes, you will realize the abundance with which you were blessed, how capable you are of loving when you trust a little.

12///demand respect, but be gracious. be gracious if it kills you.

13///you never realize how much you love something til it's gone. there's never been a cliché more true than that.

14///anne with an "e" was totally right about kindred spirits and bosom friends.

15///great art will change your life. learn a little about it, and you will notice small, but extremely significant details for the rest of your life, and you will be eternally grateful.

16///seek to make all things around you beautiful. if you are going to do something, do it beautifully. if you are going to make something, make it beautiful. there is nothing shallow or wrong about wanting beauty as long as it is good.

17///love yourself. even if you don't like all of your parts, love yourself.

18///make sure to have lots, and lots of comfy blankets. they are the cure to both frozen toes and a frozen heart.

19///family is truly what is most important. when my heart longs for something, it longs for them. make family everywhere you go. they will be your most true and sincere friends.

20///don't worry if it rains or it snows and your hair gets wet, and never take anything too seriously. things mess up sometimes, embrace it. worrying sucks the life out of you

21///there will be many times when you think it's the end of the world as you know it, but it's not. it's just an opportunity to start your world over again. and to learn something, mainly how to move on.

taking stock//01

making: bachelorette party invitations
cooking: scrambled eggs. always scrambled eggs
drinking: my weight in water, every day, all of the days
reading: huckleberry finn
wanting: to fast forward through finals week, heck can it just be christmas yet?
looking: out the window at the snow. this is my favorite way to have snow
playing: hannah montana pandora. motivation in it's purest form.
wasting: time that should be being spent doing homework 
sewing: all the holes in my socks. my big toe just likes to breath, i guess.
wishing: i hadn't cut my hair.
enjoying: saturday sleeping
waiting: for the heat to turn on. it's freezing in here.
liking: sweaters, sweaters, sweaters.
wondering: what's planned for me next
loving: my snowboots. they are beautiful angelic magical shoes
hoping: i'll figure everything out. or maybe just keep my sanity these next two weeks
marveling: at how much He knows what is best for me, even if it's not what i want, and the comfort i can get from that
needing: my electric blanket to work
smelling: pumpkin pecan waffles
wearing: chocolate junkie nail polish- i choose colors for their names
following: natalie, she is vivacious and free and spiritual and all around rad. maybe i'll grow up to be like her, i wouldn't mind one bit.
noticing: more and more of amanda's things leaving our apartment. sometimes when i think about it, i get really sad because she's leaving.
knowing: i should have gotten more sleep all semester. maybe then i'd remember all of these things
thinking: about leaving it all and moving to the beach. they don't get freezing snow and ice
bookmarking: missionary christmas gift ideas
opening: birthday presents before my birthday. i have no self control when they come a whole week early
giggling: at how i know every word to all of these songs
feeling: blessed 

this idea came from pip's blog

it's a mad, mad world

life lately: work, making bracelets, writing letters (I have a MILLION missionaries to write now), watching movies with amanda, going to the park with amanda, crafting, and putting excitement in our lives by re-arranging our room. it's pretty intense.

little notes

dear utah,
what. the. actual. heck. @$#%@@$^$%#@#$@!$@#$!!!! (that was a bunch of profane words) it's april. it's snowing. that's about all i have to say about that.

p.s. maybe i'm not that mad, it reminds me of the movie nanny mcphee, when the cook would say, "it'll be snow in August before..(insert something impossible here)". and because april and august are basically the same thing, (they both start with an "a") because it can snow in april, anything is possible, right?

dear rachel,
you scare me. happy?
(my little sister sent me a message that said, "I hope you are excited for the cruise. Because you wont be spending much time ON the boat... Hehehehehe...", basically she told me she is going to kill me then throw me off the ship)

dear july,
you can not come soon enough. why? well, guess what? i'm goin' on a cruise! to cozumel, belize, and maybe some other cool places. holla!

let's just close our eyes and pretend we are at these places instead of at work in the snow, ok?

2 for 2

Happy October! Wow, look at me, 2 posts in 2 days! But anyway, for some reason I am completely and totally incapable of waking up before 6:45 on Monday mornings. This is a serious problem when you have 3 alarms set, one for 6 am, which is really when you need to wake up because you have an 8 am class, one for 6:20, which is the LATEST you really need to wake up, and one for 7 just in case you really oversleep.

But, for some reason, I wake up, turn my alarm off, and go back to bed, and "accidentally" wake up between 6:43- 6:49 every Monday morning. Problem.

Or today, I actually turned off my phone instead of dealing with my problems. Seriously, I couldn't find my phone, and after searching and searching, it was in the covers of my bed, turned off.

I think I just need a personal wake up call or something, because this has happened every. single. week.

But here in Utah it's starting to get a little chilly! (ah!) I cannot wait until real fall weather! We decorated our apartment really Halloween-y, pictures to come soon!

i'm doing it for the girls

I have something that I say all the time now, "I'm doing it for the girls."

As I mentioned here a couple days ago, I have been considering going into social work because I want to work at Women's shelters and help the girls who are struggling. Honestly, the number one group of people I want to work with are the prostitutes. I know. It's a little strange, and terrifying, but I just feel like I need to help them. I need to help the girls. I will have the opportunity to volunteer at a women's shelter in the next few months, and I am so excited. Another thing that really touched me is after I posted the above mention post, one of my friends texted me and told me she thought I was really brave for wanting to do this. It just made me feel even better about my decision.

I have officially decided to do my undergrad in Psychology and then go into the School of Social Work at BYU for my graduate school so I can do this! Yay for big life decisions! And, of course, this is completely off track from everything I had expected to do, but Heavenly Father has funny ways of letting us know what we're supposed to do. And I never thought I would be going to so much school. Fun...

But whenever I have to do homework or don't want to go to school or I question why I am even here, I always tell myself, "I'm doing it for the girls."

when i grow up

I've always had a problem in deciding what I want to be "when I grow up." I always wanted to help people, change a few lives, impact the world, you know just your everyday stuff. I, however, had no idea how to do this. This summer I read a blog post called "Girls Girls Girls". I really really really hope that you'll take the time to read it (click on the title) because rarely has one piece of writing influence me as much as this did. I read it a couple months ago, and I have thought about it almost everyday since. It's made me want to maybe go into social work and help the girls. That maybe this is how I'll help the world, and I know it will be hard and dangerous and heartbreaking, but I've learned that everyone deserves to be treated well, and the day that I figured that out for myself was one of the best days of my life.  And those girls, they're just like me.

"My heart broke. I wanted to tell her how beautiful she was. I wanted to tell her she didn’t have to wear, do, or be anything that made her scared or uncomfortable or feel like less. I wanted her to know that while she had nothing to hide, she also had nothing that should be given away. I wanted to tell her I loved her."

shameless

right now you'll never guess what I'm doing. I'm shamelessly rubbernecking. Ok, rubbernecking may be something that you can only do in your car, but that's the only word I know to call it. but I'm not in a car. I'm in the comfort of my own home on my big comfy couch. yes, it's gameday at BYU and I'm pretty sure some guy was on a motorcycle running from the cops, skidded to a stop, then tried to run away right on University Ave. and guess what? my front window faces University Ave. and it took 4 cars to hunt him down. pretty sweet.

so far my favorite things:

having a class with my Kimberly

our big leather beautiful comfy couch that is HUGE

the decorations in our apartment. seriously, da bomb.


getting to know our new roommate, Kyle. I love her so much already! I now have 7 best friends!

our idea for our Halloween costumes. thinking of costumes for 7 people is tough, but we thought of the best. but it's a secret ;)

late night talks

figuring out how to make my keyboard french for when I type my french papers

locking myself out of my computer because my keyboard was in french and so I couldn't type in my password. that was very stressful for a while.

I knew that this guy in my Event Planning class looked really familiar, and I just figured out he's on the BYU basketball team. win.

a hundred dance parties

pictures of the apartment to come! we don't really have that much of a social life yet, so there's not much to tell there.

few things

Happy Sunday! Here in Provo it's snowing. Really?

Last Sunday I was getting a sunburn and this Sunday it's snowing. That's weird.

Some things I found that I absolutely love:

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." 

-Marilyn Monroe

In other news:

We have an awesome talent for the ward talent show tomorrow and we have pictures, but Amanda won't even let me put a sneak peek :(

let's just say- red lipstick, 40's hair, lots of denim and leather, and some...unexpected...surprises. yeah.

this song has been stuck in my head the WHOLE ENTIRE WEEKEND. I mean, I love it but there comes a point when enough is enough.

it was decided that I actually am the most clumsy person in the whole world. let's just say Amanda and I decided I probably really am going to end up falling on the floor when I really get proposed to, not just by Amanda.

I am kind of coveting these and these shoes. I have spring fever really really bad.

I just really want a teacup pig. I would name her Miss Piggy.

THE HUNGER GAMES IS THIS THURSDAY!

I have new quotes on my quote page!

I think that's it...

just a little longer...

I've been kind of MIA for a couple of days and I probably will be for a few more just because I have a ton of work to do between now and Wednesday, so I know that all 1292830172489 of my readers are probably really missing me writing on my blog everyday or so, so I decided just to check in. I'm still alive- almost dead, yes, but still managing to stay floating :)

Here's the talk I read today. I like how he said to memorize a scripture everyday or every week. I'm not the best but I'm working on it. Oh and I also love how he said, 

"Scriptures can calm an agitated soul, giving peace, hope, and a restoration of confidence in one's ability to overcome the challenges of life. They have potent power to heal emotional challenges when there is faith in the scriptures. They can accelerate physical healing."

That's all for now! I hope tomorrow is more magical than today and you remember to tell yourself you are fabulous, because you are!

oh and I have no idea what Doctor Who is except that there are some really good quotes. I got this one from Lara's tumblr and I love it. Remember it.

Be the Change

We all know the quote by Gandhi, "Be the change you wish to see in the world."

Lately I have been fascinated with the notion of changing the world. I just can't get it out of my head. 

Isn't it a fantastic and magical idea?

To change the world?

I've been thinking and thinking, I haven't figured it out yet, but one day I will. 

and one day

I will change the world.

Maybe not the WHOLE world, but somebody's world.

and that will be enough. 

I will make the world a more beautiful place, a safer place. 

I will. 

and even if it scares me, because it does, I came to college with a plan, and now I have no plan, "Everything you want is on the other side of fear" -George Addair

D&C 6:34 "Therefore, fear not, little flock; do good; let earth and hell combine against you, for if ye are built upon my rock, they cannot prevail."

"He was right in saying that the only certain happiness in life is to live for others."

-Leo Tolstoy

Change begins with a whisper...

Dreams

I love dreaming because dreams give me something to work for. I'm one of those people who dream too much and dream impossible dreams. I think I can change the world, I'm not sure how yet but I know I can do it. I believe in dreams, but I also believe in doing something about them. You can't just sit around and make wishes every 11:11 and expect things to happen. I also believe that some of our greatest dreams come true when we least expect it.

I love to believe the things that aren't supposed to happen. Maybe I am easily deceived because I am so quick to hope, but I am trying to let my faith be bigger than my fear. 

I love pretty things, but it's scary how complete the delusion is that beauty is goodness. Real beauty is made from service, being hurt and coming out of it stronger, working as hard as you can, loving God, and many other things. Beautiful people have beautiful souls. One day I want someone to say I'm this kind of beautiful. 

I believe in fairy tales. When we were young we read and believed the most fantastic things. What I love most about fairy tales is that even though they are make-believe, they always contain truth. "Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten." -G.K. Chesterton. I believe that every single "dragon" can be beaten, even if it's not always the way we think it should be beaten. There is more than one way to kill a dragon, and it might take a really long time. 

I love quotes and powerful words, that's why I use them all the time. I love books because they have an infinite knowledge. I think that if we read those books, for a second we become part of that extraordinary knowledge contained in those books.  I always wished that I had something important to say that other people wanted to hear, so maybe if I can find the important things that other people have said, maybe I can be part of that important thing. Being part of something special makes you special, right?

I believe that everyone can live an extraordinary life. Isn't that a cool thought? Instead of being just ordinary, you can be extraordinary. 

Just thinking about some serious stuff today, that's all.