glenwood singles

here is a video what my fhe family did for family night. we're pretty neat. 

evolution of home

last april home was cinderblock walls and ingrid michaelson concerts and nursing broken hearts

last summer home was a childhood place revisited, thunderstorms and lightening bugs. hot sticky summer nights up until 3 a.m. with nothing but myself and my thoughts, and on the lucky nights a few good friends.

in the fall, home became stomach butterflies and friday nights on the couch.

in the winter, home was taylor swift naps and long conversations. freezing cold days to sometimes match freezing cold hearts.

early spring, and home can be painted by beautiful mornings: i wake up to morgan arguing with herself, "i'm not getting up...no, no, no....it can't be time yet." amanda is singing in the hallway with wet hair. chloe walks out of her bedroom, looking angry with her hair all in her face. kyle stumbles straight to the bathroom, sometimes giving us a peace sign, and then comes out of the bathroom telling us how she fell asleep on the toilet again. then there's whitney, running out of her bedroom so fast she doesn't even have time to put pants on because she wakes up with a million things she has to tell us.

the other day i took a step back while our morning routine was happening, and my heart was so full. i realized how much i love these girls. this was home.

now i have to make a new home again. maybe it will include bare feet as much as possible, hard to get smiles, country music, and handwritten letters and you?

zeus, hera, poseidon!

 Today, there is kind of a silly story of what I am wearing. I'm wearing Kyle's Matt's sweater. My roommate, Kyle (who is a girl) has a best friend named Matt (who is on his mission and I have never met), and she has his sweater in her closet. So I'm wearing it. Silly, huh? It was kind of just one of those days. It's the first really cold day today, and I just want to go back to bed!!!! Unfortunately I have to take a test on the Greeks and Romans and literature and art and all that dumb stuff. Just remember that Homer wrote the Iliad, and you'll be fine.

on the bright side, I looked down and saw that the seam in my pants perfectly lines up with the seam in my boots, and I really like that. 

the sweater. it's a pretty good one.

I had to take pictures of myself really fast because I am kind of "studying" in the middle of the JKB before I have french at 10...

I'm just a really hard worker, I know. 

but school is almost over, and I get to go home and make orange rolls, and tomorrow we get to put all of our mattresses in the living room and watch conference/sleep all day! yes!

sincerely, 

seriously in need of a nap

P.S. Listen to these songs. They're great.

          
          
          

P.P.S. If anyone wants to get me this CD, they are very welcome to.

2 for 2

Happy October! Wow, look at me, 2 posts in 2 days! But anyway, for some reason I am completely and totally incapable of waking up before 6:45 on Monday mornings. This is a serious problem when you have 3 alarms set, one for 6 am, which is really when you need to wake up because you have an 8 am class, one for 6:20, which is the LATEST you really need to wake up, and one for 7 just in case you really oversleep.

But, for some reason, I wake up, turn my alarm off, and go back to bed, and "accidentally" wake up between 6:43- 6:49 every Monday morning. Problem.

Or today, I actually turned off my phone instead of dealing with my problems. Seriously, I couldn't find my phone, and after searching and searching, it was in the covers of my bed, turned off.

I think I just need a personal wake up call or something, because this has happened every. single. week.

But here in Utah it's starting to get a little chilly! (ah!) I cannot wait until real fall weather! We decorated our apartment really Halloween-y, pictures to come soon!

fall is here!

ok, so I realize that I have been a total failure at blogging lately. sorry, busy college life!

so here's what's been happening this weekend.

- We used an OVERHEAD in my World Lit class on Friday. AN OVERHEAD! I haven't seen one of them since middle school!!!

- Also, in that said class, we got COOKIES AND STARBURSTS!!! I know. Good day. We had to act out the trial of Socrates because we had just read the Apology of Socrates, which I was really nervous about because I hate talking in front of people, but it turned out pretty cool cause WE GOT COOKIES AND STARBURSTS!

- Then I had no french homework because we had a test, WHICH I aced. No big deal.

- Friday I wore what I like to call my "oh no you didn't just wear camo pants....pants..." Yeah. I wore camo pants. 

here's a sneak peak. I actually was wearing a really cute outfit (not the outfit in the following pictures) I'll show it to ya sometime. 

- Friday night we went to a CORN MAZE!!! It was kind of scary. Actually really scary. Also, what didn't help is that some people with us tried to make it scarier! I don't know if I've said it before, but I get really scared really easily, hence people think it's really funny to scare me. IT'S NOT

- The corn maze was so fun, but I think the best part of the night was this gem. It seriously is the best picture to represent our whole friendship. 

see, pretty darn fantastic, right?

and the best part is Morgan HATES it. hahaha. Sorry, I'm really not that mean. 

- we did take some cute other pictures

- Sunday I got the opportunity to go to the Brigham City LDS Temple Dedication. It was incredible. There are no words to describe what I felt there and the spirit that was present. 

- MONDAY: IT WAS COLD ENOUGH TO WEAR A SWEATER!!!

I am so excited for fall. 

- ALSO, my French and Italian Cinema class was CANCELLED!!! SWEEET! and that's a 3 hour class, so I was done at 11 instead of 3 and so I took my test, which I ACED, and I got home really early! YIPEEE!

- I checked the mail and got a letter from my brother, a letter from my friend, AND a package. AWESOME mail day today. 

I think that's pretty much it. 

oh wait. 

I JUST REALIZED MY BROTHER IS COMING HOME FROM HIS MISSION NEXT WEEK!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

i'm doing it for the girls

I have something that I say all the time now, "I'm doing it for the girls."

As I mentioned here a couple days ago, I have been considering going into social work because I want to work at Women's shelters and help the girls who are struggling. Honestly, the number one group of people I want to work with are the prostitutes. I know. It's a little strange, and terrifying, but I just feel like I need to help them. I need to help the girls. I will have the opportunity to volunteer at a women's shelter in the next few months, and I am so excited. Another thing that really touched me is after I posted the above mention post, one of my friends texted me and told me she thought I was really brave for wanting to do this. It just made me feel even better about my decision.

I have officially decided to do my undergrad in Psychology and then go into the School of Social Work at BYU for my graduate school so I can do this! Yay for big life decisions! And, of course, this is completely off track from everything I had expected to do, but Heavenly Father has funny ways of letting us know what we're supposed to do. And I never thought I would be going to so much school. Fun...

But whenever I have to do homework or don't want to go to school or I question why I am even here, I always tell myself, "I'm doing it for the girls."

when i grow up

I've always had a problem in deciding what I want to be "when I grow up." I always wanted to help people, change a few lives, impact the world, you know just your everyday stuff. I, however, had no idea how to do this. This summer I read a blog post called "Girls Girls Girls". I really really really hope that you'll take the time to read it (click on the title) because rarely has one piece of writing influence me as much as this did. I read it a couple months ago, and I have thought about it almost everyday since. It's made me want to maybe go into social work and help the girls. That maybe this is how I'll help the world, and I know it will be hard and dangerous and heartbreaking, but I've learned that everyone deserves to be treated well, and the day that I figured that out for myself was one of the best days of my life.  And those girls, they're just like me.

"My heart broke. I wanted to tell her how beautiful she was. I wanted to tell her she didn’t have to wear, do, or be anything that made her scared or uncomfortable or feel like less. I wanted her to know that while she had nothing to hide, she also had nothing that should be given away. I wanted to tell her I loved her."

shameless

right now you'll never guess what I'm doing. I'm shamelessly rubbernecking. Ok, rubbernecking may be something that you can only do in your car, but that's the only word I know to call it. but I'm not in a car. I'm in the comfort of my own home on my big comfy couch. yes, it's gameday at BYU and I'm pretty sure some guy was on a motorcycle running from the cops, skidded to a stop, then tried to run away right on University Ave. and guess what? my front window faces University Ave. and it took 4 cars to hunt him down. pretty sweet.

so far my favorite things:

having a class with my Kimberly

our big leather beautiful comfy couch that is HUGE

the decorations in our apartment. seriously, da bomb.


getting to know our new roommate, Kyle. I love her so much already! I now have 7 best friends!

our idea for our Halloween costumes. thinking of costumes for 7 people is tough, but we thought of the best. but it's a secret ;)

late night talks

figuring out how to make my keyboard french for when I type my french papers

locking myself out of my computer because my keyboard was in french and so I couldn't type in my password. that was very stressful for a while.

I knew that this guy in my Event Planning class looked really familiar, and I just figured out he's on the BYU basketball team. win.

a hundred dance parties

pictures of the apartment to come! we don't really have that much of a social life yet, so there's not much to tell there.

before I leave

There's a man in my home ward, and he says the best prayers. His face looks like he's lived a thousand years. The creases and lines and weathered skin prove his wisdom. When he speaks, the deepest, most scraggly sound comes out. He always sounds like he is about to cry, but maybe that's because it's always just overflowing with the spirit, and when he prays, oh he prays.  I can hear a little piece of heaven in the way that he puts his words together. I would like to hear him speak forever.

I'm about to leave home for the second time to go back to school. Leaving home this time will be different. Coming back home next time will be different. I have changed so much even in these seemingly monotonous four months. I want such different things now. And I will change in the next four months, and the next. Coming home is always different after being gone, but I always come back. I guess I end where I begin. 

People always told me that coming home after leaving was weird and it didn't feel like home to them anymore. That wasn't the case for me. I came back home and I fit right back in. I guess it's because I was never really gone. A part of my heart will always be there in my little brown room with stripes on the wall. A part of my heart will always be with those memories, those tears, that laughter. Great milestones of my life happened there, so my heart never could leave. A part of my heart is still in that storybook sky and those green green trees that suffocate the place where the sky is supposed to meet the ground. In those orange tennessee sunsets and those stuffy and wet southern nights.

 But then my heart is also in those dry brown mountains. In the football games where everyone is screaming in one voice and then collapsing in one gigantic, victorious cry. In those long nights on crowded beds with the people I love.

I will never be exactly this person in this place again. 

My cousin in Utah always asks me when I'm coming home, and the people around me here in Tennessee always beg me to stay. How lucky I am to have left my heart in so many places. 

favorite moments

so I was only going to choose a few but... yeah some of my favorite times of these last two semesters...

floating lanterns

Kneaders runs for hot chocolate...just remember that it closes at 10 and don't try to go at 11....awkward....

Call Me Maybe? hahahahaha

I'd always come home to 2 things: 1. Morgan asleep and 2. her telling me she's going to clean her room. today.

kittens and whales FINALLY became best friends. Peter drew this for me. they also became cookies at one point too.

fancy dancing

many, many nights spent talking, laughing, spooning, screaming... in the same bed.

snow days! but unfortunately we still had to go to school...

I was so lucky to be surrounded by so much of my family. gotta love cousins!

dancing, dancing, dancing...

A Very Horne Christmas.

Valentine's Day in our cardi's. I just love these girls that day was the best. 

being completely obnoxious in El Azteca.

we like to represent all nationalities. but we really love mexican food.

visits from friends from home...

....some things never change :)

our multiple Halloween costumes. we realized the great things our closets could produce

lovely photo shoots. cutest pics ever.

and I've just got really hot roommates.

braces ad?

football games

Halloween...again...

DI and Morgan driving adventures (let me tell you- they're ADVENTURES)

a ridiculous amount of time spent in the hallway

 quoting everything "I'm only allowed upstairs"

the best fhe times

somehow we managed to always cram ourselves in the smallest places and we just really like cuddling...

midnight Hunger Games premiere 

this pretty much explains all the other times in our apartment...they were so good :)

When in Rome...

probably the proudest moment of my life. you have no idea the smallness of the space on top of that refrigerator. 

snailing for fun

vocal point concert with Tennessee friends

my mom coming out for my cousin's wedding


Fun is fun!

                                

what I learned...

Tonight was magical. That's the only way to describe the feeling when you see 150 lanterns float up into the dark night sky that 150 of your new family have just let go of. It's almost liberating. Make a wish, make a dream, let go of old dreams that are only dragging you down. Let go. Change is coming. It always does, and it's always scary but it's also extraordinary.

This is a time for reminiscing- on the good times, the sad times, the times when you were so mad, the times when you were hurt, the times when you did crazy things you can't tell your mom about- because you learned something from every single experience and every single person you came in contact with. So, here's what Erica Bryanna Paine became and learned in the past 8 months at Brigham Young University. 


It’s funny what being a couple thousand miles from everything you’ve ever known can do to you. It’s been one of those years where sometimes you smile just so everyone thinks you’re okay and you laugh because it’s easier than explaining why you aren’t laughing. It’s also been one of those years that you smile all the time secret little smiles because you thought of something, and you laugh for hours because you have nothing better to do and you’re just that happy.

This year I found myself, lost myself, and found myself again. I felt the hand of God in my life in ways that I couldn’t have even dreamed possible. He knows what I need even if I don’t.

I learned how to love people in ways that I never thought possible. I learned how much love I was capable of having. I learned how to be on my own. I learned that some people won't like you the way you want them to, but that it's just something you have to get over because sometimes some parts of life just suck. But it's not easy. I learned that you can make the kind of friends whose friendships span eternities. 

I learned to be a little more brave. I learned that it's okay to show people how you feel, even though it's hard and I still can't do it. 

I made lifelong friends. Friends I know I knew a long time ago before we even got here. I can't wait until years from now when my little kiddies will know my roommates as Auntie Kimberly, Auntie Morgan, Auntie Whitney, Auntie Mateja, and Auntie Amanda. It's happening.

Sometimes I joke and say the most valuable thing I learned in college is how to dance. I might laugh at that now, but it’s kinda true. Dancing isn’t only dancing. I’ve broken out of my shell a little bit. I’m still afraid, but I am learning that the only way to get what I want is through my fears. Run towards your fears. They only strengthen you when you run at them with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ at your side. With Them you always win. 

That time when I lost myself, it was so dark. I learned for the first time the real contrast between light and dark. Because of that, I know I never ever want to go back to the dark.

While I was sitting in my self-pity a couple months ago, I couldn’t see how blessed I truly was. Sure, I didn’t get the grades that I wanted, I couldn’t do everything that I wanted to do, and boys are dumb. But look at everything else I have around me. What I couldn't see is that I am the luckiest girl in the world.

These past couple months have been a growing experience for me. I am coming to except my mistakes and love all that I have. I am fine with myself. Coming to college I learned about photosynthesis and entropy but what I learned is more than that. I have learned it’s the relationships that we have- our relationships with those around us, those we love, those we don’t like as much, and our Heavenly Father- that really count. I’ve learned I can do hard things. No one ever said it was going to be easy. No one said this was going to be simple. They just said it was going to be worth it.

My life is wonderful. I have memories and learned lessons that I wouldn’t trade for a lifetime supply of clothes, shoes, little piggies, and a red ducati. Yeah. Not even for a red ducati. 

Change is bittersweet. I used to hate goodbye's until I realized that there's no such thing as a real goodbye. It's always just a "see ya later" because even if it's not in this life, we will see each other again. There are much, much greater things to come.

“It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, 

for in movement there is life and in change there is power." - Alex Cohen