life lately

Lately my life has just been SO EXCITING I NEVER HAVE ANY TIME TO BLOG

can you hear the sarcasm just ooozing from that?

I finally got to come home after I finished training at work

I LOVE Tennessee. I LOVE LOVE LOVE it. I'm pretty sure everyone around me is sick of TN because I just love it so much and talk about it all the time. 

I was so excited to come home for another Tender Tennessee Christmas because it's the only Christmas for me. 

but really. 

Anyway, what have I been up to lately???

hmmm???

Well, we kicked off my trip back home with my little sister's choir concert, and I swear I sang half of those songs when I was in chorus 10 years ago. Wow, I'm old. 

Lots of Christmas shopping!

I love Christmas!

I love shopping!

Really, I am a Christmas freak, I eat, drink, breath, sleep Christmas this time of year. I just LOVE it.

So when I came home I almost keeled over with excitement when I saw our regular holiday decorations at my house. My mother does a great job. And you have to have a real Christmas tree.

here's a funny video of a kid dancing in my mall

Anyway, I have been wrapping lots of presets, too because my mother hates it, so I get to do it. Yippee!

and then I'm carpeting a room. 

Yes, carpeting a room.

that's preettty much it, besides trying over and over again to play "I Dreamed a Dream" from Les Miserables on the piano, I've almost got it!

and that is the exciting life of Erica Paine. 

before I leave

There's a man in my home ward, and he says the best prayers. His face looks like he's lived a thousand years. The creases and lines and weathered skin prove his wisdom. When he speaks, the deepest, most scraggly sound comes out. He always sounds like he is about to cry, but maybe that's because it's always just overflowing with the spirit, and when he prays, oh he prays.  I can hear a little piece of heaven in the way that he puts his words together. I would like to hear him speak forever.

I'm about to leave home for the second time to go back to school. Leaving home this time will be different. Coming back home next time will be different. I have changed so much even in these seemingly monotonous four months. I want such different things now. And I will change in the next four months, and the next. Coming home is always different after being gone, but I always come back. I guess I end where I begin. 

People always told me that coming home after leaving was weird and it didn't feel like home to them anymore. That wasn't the case for me. I came back home and I fit right back in. I guess it's because I was never really gone. A part of my heart will always be there in my little brown room with stripes on the wall. A part of my heart will always be with those memories, those tears, that laughter. Great milestones of my life happened there, so my heart never could leave. A part of my heart is still in that storybook sky and those green green trees that suffocate the place where the sky is supposed to meet the ground. In those orange tennessee sunsets and those stuffy and wet southern nights.

 But then my heart is also in those dry brown mountains. In the football games where everyone is screaming in one voice and then collapsing in one gigantic, victorious cry. In those long nights on crowded beds with the people I love.

I will never be exactly this person in this place again. 

My cousin in Utah always asks me when I'm coming home, and the people around me here in Tennessee always beg me to stay. How lucky I am to have left my heart in so many places. 

picture perfect

I was going through old pictures for my little sister, and I came across these little gems. They're from a snow day last winter. The last picture pretty much describes my family perfectly. I can't stop giggling laughing at it, so I had to share.

my mom just wanted a nice picture out in the snow... (but you see, it's snow. my little sister doesn't like it (that's why she's turned around and crying). and notice the snowball in my hand...)

rachel still won't turn around and I've got an idea (notice the grinning)

she still won't turn around, and I can't wait forever, so...

then chaos ensues... (rachel is still crying)

Benjamin- hmmm fancy a dance? I got a quite a bit of air in this picture, and Rachel is still crying.

(yes, Jared just pulled down his own pants...)

....aaand he was pretty proud of himself. this is the best we could do. 

wishing for colder weather.

Happy Tuesday!

oh you know...just roasting

This is fun. Yesterday was even hotter- 108! Apparently it was the hottest day ever recorded in history of ever for us. And it's even more fun with all this humidity! Yipee!

In memory

There are so many things that make me happy today:

- backyard fires
- roasting marshmallows
- funny dancing
- irish wrist watches
- country music
- colbalt blue shorts
- boy shirts
- eating watermelon and getting it all over your face
- sunglasses

all of these things would not be possible had it not been for those who fight for our nation.

Land of the free.
Home of the brave.

I can have achievable dreams because of those who fight for my freedom.

Today my family and I went to Stones River Battlefield. The cemetery contained plaques with parts of the poem "Bivouac of the Dead" by Theodore O'Hara, a soldier who had fought on that field and watched his friends and enemies fall (this is not the whole poem, just the parts that were in the cemetery)

THE MUFFLED drum's sad roll has beat
The soldier's last tattoo;
No more on Life's parade shall meet
That brave and fallen few.
On Fame's eternal camping-ground	5
Their silent tents are spread,
And Glory guards, with solemn round,
The bivouac of the dead.
No rumor of the foe's advance
Now swells upon the wind;	10
No troubled thought at midnight haunts
Of loved ones left behind;
No vision of the morrow's strife
The warrior's dream alarms;
No braying horn nor screaming fife	15
At dawn shall call to arms.
The neighing troop, the flashing blade,	25
The bugle's stirring blast,
The charge, the dreadful cannonade,
The din and shout, are past;
Nor war's wild note nor glory's peal
Shall thrill with fierce delight	30
Those breasts that nevermore may feel
The rapture of the fight.
Your own proud land's heroic soil
Shall be your fitter grave:	70
She claims from war his richest spoil—
The ashes of her brave.
Rest on, embalmed and sainted dead!
Dear as the blood ye gave;
No impious footstep here shall tread
The herbage of your grave;
Nor shall your glory be forgot	85
While Fame her record keeps,
Or Honor points the hallowed spot
Where Valor proudly sleeps.

Things like this really make me think. The poem is beautiful and haunting. I will never know what it feels like to be in that situation, and I know I can never understand it. I think the best way we can show our gratitude is to live with our gratitude each day, not just on Memorial Day, or Independence Day, knowing that our lives are the way they are because of selfless people who sometimes sacrifice everything for us, strangers. And then we need to try to never forget.

my favorite thing

driving home at night is the best because of the fireflies. they really are magical.

home is whenever I'm with you

I've officially been home for a week. A very strange week, but it made me remember why I love this place so much. That's why I always talk about it. I just love it.

Franklin, Tennessee. or should I say "Historic Franklin"

I think I read somewhere once that the population was the same as BYU Provo. So semi-small town-ish?

30 minutes from Nashville

Still has scars from the Battle of Franklin of the Civil War, the "Bloodiest Battle of the War." Everyone remembers the Battle of Franklin, whether you lived there your whole life or not.

Famous people who live in Franklin:

Nick Carter (I was pretty excited about that one)
Kenny Chesney
Lee Greenwood
Ashley Judd (she splits between Scotland and Franklin, nbd)
Kings of Leon came from Franklin
Paramore came from Franklin (I've seen the lead singer at Hobby Lobby and where I worked. Pretty cool I know)
Brad Paisley

Just to name a few. I mean I'm practically famous because I live here too.

But the main reason I love Franklin so much is much, much more than the famous people or the history.

It's beautiful. Everyday I look outside and I simply cannot get over how breathtakingly beautiful it is. The green is almost as green as blanched vegetables! In Provo, the mountains seemed almost like a security blanket because the landscape just felt so empty. I come to Franklin and it's so full. I know that's a really weird way to describe it, but that's the only way to describe it. There are trees and hills and grass EVERYWHERE! It really is true that you don't realize what you have until you're gone and then come back to it.

The country accents. Everywhere I go everybody has a little country twang. It's funny sounding, but I personally love it. I mean, too much is definitely too much, but it's comforting to hear everyone talking in nice, polite country accents. It tells me I'm home. Whenever I was in Provo, if I heard someone talking in a country accent, I felt immediately connected to them because they get it. There's something different about the south. But let's not get started on the slang and phrases they use...

Saturday I went to the main street festival (it's a festival where they shut down the main street going through the center of town and they have a...festival....) and this stuff really donned on me. You know those quaint little small town festivals you always hear about where people walk everywhere downtown and you have your dogs and get lemonade and BBQ? Well they're real!

that's mine ^

Even though my sisters do like to scare me, I love being with them. I love that they're some of my best friends and they'll go anywhere with me. My family definitely makes Franklin my home. It wouldn't be home without them.

I love Sundays at home, I always find the comics for my siblings to read while I read the style section of the Sunday paper and the life section (today it was about Carrie Underwood- some real good stuff right there, let me tell ya). It's always humid and warm outside.

I love that there is a temple right next to the stake center where I go to church. I mean it's not Provo where I can walk to the temple, but  I am so so lucky to have a temple right next to my church building. 

I am sitting in sacrament meeting and one of my friends looks back at me a smiles in a kind of mischievous way and when I ask her why she was smiling at me she just said "I'm just so glad you're back."

It's the best when I hear my name being screamed and I look down and see 3 little boys that are 3 and 4 years old and I used to babysit smiling up at me. According to them I have lots of boyfriends here. haha.

Saturday afternoon I got to play with Will and Finn in the sandbox and on the trampoline. I love them and I get to babysit them every time I come home.

hehe I told Finn to open his eyes and this is was I got...

he's always up to some sort of mischief...

I hope someday all of you can come visit because Franklin is my favorite place on earth!

i forget lots of things

I am the queen of awkward moments. I swear every situation I am in becomes awkward just because I am in it. For example, yesterday I was working and I ended up having to vacuum off an old man's back/almost his butt. Yeah. I don't even know.

Family dinner at the Paine house:

Dad: "Erica you should do something [in college] that doesn't have very many girls"

Erica: "But dad everything that only has 3 girls in it I don't want to do."

Dad: "But there's lots of great things like..."

Erica's Head: "wait for it, wait for it...."

Erica's Head & Dad: "Engineering, you'd be great at it."

Erica: "knew you were going to say that. actually I really like sanding tables. Like furniture building."

Mom: "You can build me a desk. There's one I want from Pottery Barn"

Dad: "You can do industrial design!" [runs off and goes to look it up on the computer]

Rebekah (my little sister): "I like chicken!"

what?

I forgot that I'm too short for my feet to touch the floor when I sit at the kitchen table.

I also forget that my little sisters like to torment me by scaring me.

So after dinner we're sitting at the table still and my little sister disappears. I then feel the awful sensation of tickling on my feet. BAD IDEA. Tickling is the worst! And I am so ticklish! Especially on the feet! And I can't even put them on the ground so she can't tickle them anymore! Short problems.

And then my little sisters like to sneak around corners and jump out at me and make scary faces just to hear me scream. I'm tormented. It's a hard life, I know. 

Later my little sister tries to get me to let her borrow my shoes. She tells me that she won't scare me the whole time I am home if I let her borrow my shoes. hahaha.

#1 problem of being home: I don't have anyone to share clothes with (my mom is a lot taller than me and my little sisters are 11 and 9 so...). But then I discovered little brothers' plaid shirts! Perfect!

I forgot why humidity is not great. These past couple days I have had a halo of frizzy curls all around my head. And they're not even cute! I don't think I had curls once in Utah!

I also forgot about Tennessee storms. Man I sure missed them. Here we have real thunderstorms. Hail and pouring rain. Lightening and thunder. They're great!

Today I was asked to come in and help do hair and makeup for young women's. So I was at church and we were told there was a tornado that had touched down (that means one hit the ground) at a park nearby and so we had to cram in the church bathroom with at least 30 other people. Fun fun fun! 

Gotta love Tennessee. It's actually quite scary. This is what happened because of the tornado today:

when we were driving home from church the tornado sirens went off again and my mom said, "of course there was a tornado. I feel dumb because I was like 'look at the clouds they're so pretty' and then they turned out to be tornado" 

This then proceeded to become a conversation where we all talked in our chinese accents and made fun of tornados and said things like (imagine chinese accents)

"oh look at those pretty clouds turning and twisting in the air"

"oh look cows can fly here"

"oh and pigs too"

"and houses! where can I get one of those?"

"look mom! we're flying with the birds"

"see kids this is why we wear helmets in the car"

just a typical day at home. that's all.

coming home

That awkward moment when...

You come home and everyone is ten feet taller than you. I was tall once. I promise.

Your little brother can drive.

Your other little brother's voice is cracking. 

You wash all of your dishes before you put them in the dishwasher and then your dad tells you that your dishwasher actually works.

You're still afraid of your basement and have to run up the stairs 2 at a time in order to avoid being murdered by the murderer that you swear lives in your basement.

You're hungry but don't actually end up eating anything because there are so many options of food in your house and you can eat any of it. It's quite stressful.

Everyone is going to bed but you are still wide awake and trying to talk to everyone but no one wants to talk because they're going to bed.

You're emptying the dishwasher and you forget where something goes and you start panicking and feel like your whole childhood is crashing down on you until you find the right spot.

Your little brother has been staying in your bedroom while you were at college and his boxers are pinned on your bulletin board. You just hope they're clean.

You forgot you now live with boys and have to get dressed with the door closed. (sorry probably TMI)

You're perfectly content living in your shower because it's so much bigger than the one in your dorm.

Ingrid Michaelson is the only real friend you have now that you're home. And she's not even real because she's just singing to you out of your computer.

Your mom's shoes now live in your shoe cubby in the mudroom.

Your family doesn't think that puppy pictures are funny.

You end up talking to yourself while you're lying in bed at midnight because you don't have a roommate to talk to.


Everything has changed, yet nothing has changed.

home run

Well this is it. at 2:25 tomorrow I set out to go home to Tennessee!

I had to say goodbye to my roommates and even though I see them in four months, it's really hard to go from having these girls in every single part of your life to having them completely gone. I love them so much! But even though I love my life with them, it's time to go home.

Luckily Lara and I got the same flight! yay! So we are staying at her aunt's house. We were both pretty much dead and looking super rough- like after spending 10 days in the wilderness/ a weed filled Ingrid Michaelson concert (more stories to come) and then not showering and cleaning all day and not sleeping for a week. Yeah we were looking rough. Anyway Lara's aunt took us to Thanksgiving Point to see the tulips and they were gorgeous! We then went and got girl food (aka salads, soup, and fish) and Froyo. Gotta love the froyo.

When we finally got to her aunt's house we were exhausted and she had a chair that hangs from the ceiling. It's so cool. We promptly fell asleep. Well, sort of...

I get to go home!!!!

information overload

I've been listening to this song on repeat for what seems like forever.

In 18 short days I'll be boarding a plane to go back to Tennessee for 4 months. 

There's only one problem. I want to go home, but I don't want to go home. 

I know. What a problem. I am so lucky that this is my problem. I miss my family and my home, but I don't want to leave my new family.

Doesn't it always seem that everything gets really good right before you have to leave it?

Perfect timing, that's what I'm good. (I'm being sarcastic in case you were wondering)

It's days like these that remind me of the important things. The days when your roommates need you to laugh with them, cuddle with them, cry with them, and then eat lots of cake with them.

I'm so grateful for modern technology or I don't know what I'd do. Probably have no friends over the summer. Oh wait...

Or, in the words of the oh so wise Winnie the Pooh,
"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."
I really am so lucky.

On the other hand, I'm pretty sure I need this and this.
Just saying. And I need green pants. Those would rock.

Oh, and something I've been working on. After the longest time, I finally cracked and drew my roommates wedding dresses. (I know what you're thinking mom, but don't worry. No one is planning on getting married anytime soon...I think...)They are convinced I'm going to make them for them.
ha ha ha.

that would take wayyyyy too long

but I'll try for them anyways I guess.

Here's a test:

1. Who's dress is this?

(the swirly stuff is lace btw)

A. Morgan

B. Mateja

C. Amanda

2. Who's dress is this?

A. Amanda

B. Morgan

C. Mateja

3. Who's dress is this?

A. Mateja

B. Amanda

C. Morgan

If you guessed "C"for all of them, guess what???

you're wrong!

The answer is really "A" for all of them.

tricked ya, didn't I? :)

The drawings aren't that great, but they'll do. Plus they're different than any kind of dress I would ever wear because, well, I made them for my roomies....

Anywhoobies,

I had an ephinamamanamay (that's how you spell epiphany in case you were wondering) today.

sometimes things need to fall apart because the way they were before wasn't good enough. and sometimes you didn't know something wasn't good enough until it breaks. it sometimes takes falling apart to realize that it had been wrong all along. 

wow. that was confusing. let me try and explain a little better the thoughts in my head...

it's kind of like if you move into a new house with built-in cabinets that you thought were "faulty". it wasn't until they broke and you had to fix them that you realized the whole time they weren't faulty cabinets,  they were just built the wrong way.

ok maybe that was a little better...

but the BEST part is that now you know the wrong way to do it and the right way is the only option left!

sorry if that's still confusing. it makes sense in my head, and it probably only matters to me, so...

wow. that was a lot of stuff.

oh spring

Oh Tennessee, I miss you. I miss the springtime and the thunderstorms. Maybe even the humidity a little bit. The weather this week:

I'm a bit jealous.

And do you know what spring and summer in Tennessee means? Country music!

haha I just couldn't resist the last one

Downtown Franklin

Today was beautiful! It was 60 degrees, sunny, windy, and no need for a coat! My best friend Lara and I went to the beautiful and historic Downtown Franklin, the center of the town I live. Even though it is 5 minutes from my house, and I have lived here practically my whole life, I am still hopeless with directions and get completely turned around, thankfully Lara has always been there to be my sane person whenever I need one (which is all the time)

Armed with a camera, $10, and my best friend I set out on and adventure in the 615...

My favorite part of Christmas in Franklin! and it's lit up at night!

totes the best hun cal fro-yo.

It looks just like the shops at the North Pole! Sans the snow haha.

Now for our photo shoot (because no adventure would be complete without a photo shoot!)

After tons of window shopping, we finally found little gems to take home

Beautiful handmade shell box for my rings!

and a key charm for a necklace!

I love Franklin! It's my home!!

This is the house I always wanted to live in...

Oh hey, I missed you too. Thanks for staying pretty for me even in the dead winter!